NO! I AM NOT Okay!

NO! I AM NOT Okay!

By – Meena Mishra

 Where did I go wrong?

Moments of reflective wonder haunt me,

Shadowy questions that resonate disturbing answers

Freedom to create – can it become crushing oppression?

Listening to advice- does it begin to limit my growth?

Why are the dichotomy of positive values,

scribbling unshapen ideas across my life’s horizon,

in neon shades for all to see?

Pensive thoughts plod through the backdrop of my mind.

Can I draw fences between me and the world?

Will the fences keep me in safe? What will it keep out?

 Do I need to chain my teacher’s spirit to the fence?

 So that my entrepreneur image can swiftly fly to the stars

 Without plunging like Icarus into an ocean of anxious grief!

No, I am not OK with these swirling questions that storm through my mind:

 Do I need to accept it all at my table?

The subtle manipulation masked as friendly sharing of ideas;

The criticism, poorly dressed as chatty feedback;

All looking dark and demeaning,

falsely sympathetic at my vulnerability

No, I am not OK, with the tick tack of stilettos,

 Of coiffured heads laughing as they climb The staircase,

 I have carefully crafted, All the way to their success!

 I am not OK with overfed egos in pinstripe suits

Dragging me down to the dense unclear universe….

 I will brook no chalk cliffs and rolling waves of doubt and negativity

 as I sail along scouring the sea for adventure;

 I am ready with granite decisions- strong and bold

That will move mountains;

I will fly free!

But callous toxicity, I am not okay with!

Take it somewhere else!

Leave my unsaid tears,

my well-being, so precious – leave it alone,

untouched by contaminated souls!

Sheila Bhattacharya

I am Sheila Bhattacharya, who has been given this wonderful opportunity to put together brief points about the inspiration behind the meaningful stories and heart –touching poems in the Anthology-  No I am not OK. It has been with great pleasure that I have put together these very personal anecdotes and deep felt thoughts about ‘not being OK’ in the stressful world that we live in. Each word that has been written, flows directly from the writer’s heart.

Emotional bonds linking a writer to their work is a fairly common feature, what makes this anthology special is that each piece contains within its core a tiniest precious bit of the author’s soul~ each piece represents the courage of the author to bare their soul to the world and call out for change and acceptance. This beautiful anthology, so carefully planned and designed Ms. Meena Mishra, is labour of her love and compassion. She has drawn inspiration from the most creative yet disturbed soul Vincent Van Gogh, referencing the bright yellow sunflowers from his beautiful work of art to be part of the cover design. She encouraged a talented group of writers to pen down those moments when one sits down to reflect about things that disturbs our serenity; to have a cathartic relief by expressing these thoughts, maybe through this our society will find a solution—and then the world might heal and become OK.   

This was the most empathetic title for an anthology; it contains within it tones of compassion, care and concern for all of us, who suffer from the stress due to the complexity of our lives…. For me, it was an opportunity to bring closure to the sadness I felt when I saw my parents struggle with mental health issues – My father suffering from a gradual degradation of his mental faculties and my mother’s struggle to provide continuous care for him.

My stories are in memory of those who are too weak and feeble to speak coherently about their confusion and pain. The Impish Lass publishing house and Meena Ma’am must be lauded for the courage to explore such a taboo theme.  

Hema Nair

Hello, I am Hema Nair. This was a wonderful platform given by Ms.Meena Mishra to express our thoughts freely on a subject that has been under lock and key in our society for many generations. The ‘Pandemic Era’ forced one to face a strange reality.  Each one of us were at different levels of ‘No, I am not okay ‘ during those days. Yes, we did survive, despite the confusion and fear! But, did we do it right or was there something more that was needed? It is at such times we need each other and we need to extend a helping hand to the less fortunate. The sunflowers on the cover page was very apt for this anthology. Sunflowers face the sun when it comes out and gets its energy from the sun. But what happens on a rainy or cloudy day? They face each other and draw energy from each other. This should teach us all a lesson. While in difficult situations we must all help each other out so that we can l feel and say ‘ YES, I AM OKAY ‘.

Amruta Ashish

For this amazing anthology I wrote a poem ‘ Sushant ‘ in memory of a talented young soul , who , unable to fight the demons in his head , gave up his wonderful journey of life. These days we see so many people commit suicide and the most common reason behind that is depression. I think the reason behind depression is usually the lack of sharings… My other article for the anthology is ‘Drain Out’. In this I wanted to focus on the unnecessary stress we carry with ourselves like heavy baggage that stops us from unpacking and finding a home. We must find ways to lose our stress through engaging ourselves in some positive activities such as reading or gardening; this will help to drain out our ideological waste, and allow us a peaceful and positive Life.

Tisha Waghela

I am Tisha Waghela. Writing for this book gave me an opportunity to pass on the message, that when you are not okay and keep what happened to you to yourself, an essential part within yourself dies even though you are alive, making life long and difficult. I was delighted to work with a team that was full of positive synergy. Working with senior experts and personalities helped me hone my writing skills. I also learnt an important life lesson from my editor that the power of being on the Top of the world begins by staying down to earth. I had a joyful experience I was excited as the book passed through different stages until it came to my hands.

Afra Fahd

My poem, “Secret of the Self” depicts the hard reality of stress, which has left mankind vulnerable to mental health issues. At its commencement as depression, sadness and helplessness, a deteriorating mental health can be restored by talking yourself out of it, lifting yourself up through positive self-talk, “rising like a Phoenix from its own ashes…” Should the situation go out of hand, it’s perfectly fine to seek professional help. But it’s not right to ignore that voice within you. On the contrary, listen to it! Because this is the “secret of the self”; if you don’t listen to yourself, how will you know what you’re trying to tell you? This self-talk has inspired me to contribute to this master piece of an anthology, “No, I’m Not Okay”, at the Impish Lass Publishing House.

Bedavalli

Good mental health is quite often neglected; there are many who disregard the havoc depression wreaks on their lives and continue as highly functioning, apparently successful individuals. Earlier, the quest for sound mental health was greeted with social censure. I am glad that society has become more empathetic and inclusive today and we can discuss depression, a hitherto taboo topic, quite openly. My contribution to this anthology is my effort to try to create a more compassionate world for those who are perceived as more difficult to love; to spread awareness, for we often do not know what ails a frail mind. And also to make this world a better place where everyone feels comfortable to seek help, without any fear of social ostracism.

Gevé Pereira

I chose to write on this topic predominantly because it is a subject very close to my heart. As a teenager I have always felt our voices are silenced when it comes to mental health. Mental health issues are rising throughout our society. The pandemic only helped in making the situation further worse. Despite the high prevalence, there is a severe lack of empathy due to inadequate awareness. People still misconstrue depression and self-harm, simply because it is a taboo subject. Hence when the opportunity presented in the form of this anthology, I had to be a part of the process and attempt to present my perspective about the struggle and anguish faced by adolescents with depression and self-harm, a malady I have seen from close quarters.

Mrinali Sanjay Aror

How difficult is it to admit that we are not okay?We all go through a time in our life when we feel sadness, suffering, and loss of hope. When I went through a miscarriage, I was heartbroken. Many women like me go through the same in silence. It is taboo to speak about it openly. We endure the pain alone. So, I gathered the courage to share my story ‘A Mother for 12 Weeks’ and a poem inspired by someone’s struggle with mental health. I hope to reach others and tell them that they are not alone and they are stronger than they believe.

Monika Patel

An opportunity to share about your mental health journey is a rare occurrence. As soon as the anthology was announced I dived deep into my memory box and also browsed through the pages of my diary and put pen to paper, rather put fingers to keyboard. The poem ‘“Heal Your Soul”, is my way of encouraging my dear ones and everyone in general to accept that if you are not ok you should get help. Riya’s story “I Nurtured Me””, is again an attempt at encouraging people to accept help from mental health experts and not feel stigmatized for seeking help. It was a cathartic journey. Thank you ILPH and Ms Meena Mishra for the opportunity.

Ramya Viswanathan

I was both enamoured and excited about the title of the anthology ‘No I am not okay’ not only because it is a needed topic of the time but also it opens up on the importance of not being okay. The stereotypes that I have been witnessing in and around all these years immediately swirled around my mind, spurring creative thoughts and I instantly penned this poem. As the words took shape, it gave me a feel of completeness, fulfilling the promise that my protagonist chose to stay okay regardless of how the world judges her. It was her life, and she needed to live her way.

Bindya Viswanathan

I am not OK’ – I decided to write for this because I have often found myself saying I am okay when I was not okay. I started to think about why I had said I was okay when I was not. Especially in these COVID times, mental health has been a very great concern for the young and old alike. I hope that by reading this book, if anyone feels they are not okay, then they will be able to accept that fact and will share what they are going through with family or friends or seek professional help without hesitating.

Neeta Tally

Being a writer by passion, I immediately knew that I had to be on board the moment this anthology was announced.  The subject that touches each one of us at some point of time still doesn’t get the attention it deserves. Writing for it has been a kind of liberating experience. I have tried to bring to the fore the loneliness and pain of a mother – the typical empty nest syndrome! This is the time when her kids leave and the hormones behave crazy. She doesn’t even realize that something is wrong. I am thankful to  Impish Lass for giving me this opportunity.

Latha

” The Turning Point ” is part of my life time stories. It’s about how I could overcome the traumatic phase in my life with the support of friends and family. When you are depressed and totally drained out, true friends and supporting family play a crucial role in boosting up your morale and helping you to come out of the situation much stronger and determined to face the challenges of your upcoming journey.

I feel blessed to have such true friends and a very loving and supporting family to have always encouraged me to take the right decision and to move on in life and wade through my problems with a smile.

Seema Gautam

 I am Seema Gautam and here I would like to share my experience of my first published poetry…Nothing could possibly be better…Despite the fact that I’ve been writing for over two decades and have won numerous accolades for my writing, speaking, and acting skills… this is something that has brought me happiness on multiple levels.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to announcing my first-ever publication on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. On FB and Instagram, the post got 100-170-something “likes” and a many people, cheered me on.

Writing is always profound, deep, and feels very personal. Poetry can sometimes tell its own story, or just describe a situation in the moment. I like when poems have a sort of rhythm to them, even if they don’t rhyme. Special gratitude to Meena Mishra mam and ‘The Impish Lass Publishing House’ for publishing my poems and giving me an opportunity.

Mousumee Baruah

Often our smile is a veil to our miseries.   Our smiling facade masked our griefs and insecurities as depression is still taboo. We remain quiet, we hide our problems, as we don’t know how people would react. We are too embarrassed to express our unfathomable feelings. Pent-up emotions consume our mind and we lose our rationality, wisdom and hence suffer in silence. And at times it invites catastrophe. During the second wave of the pandemic, I had heard a lot of gripping poignant stories. My story “The handful of the sky “is one such story of a couple who were flummoxed, don’t know how to react to the situations hurled by destiny. Sometimes tempests come to clear our vision; and it is in tough times, that we figure out who our real friends are. It is always an inspiring experience writing for the Impish Lass, this anthology is no different, particularly because ” No! I am not okay” addresses a very meaningful topic that is timely and relevant. If through this Anthology, we could bring some positive outlook to people’s minds, it would be worth our collective effort, and as writer’s we would get our due.

Kirti V

Mental well-being is something that is still considered a taboo subject in our country. People don’t want to speak about it and the acceptance does not seem to be happening. I have always felt that if the cries of a person going through these turbulences are heard sans without judging them, it would bring in a remarkable difference in them. Hence the poem The Plea. 

Smriti Agarwal 

I have been saying and hearing people say ‘I am ok, I am fine’, but the reality is very different. Normal people living normal lives are always not ok, but no one says it. Sometimes greed or maybe envy creeps in and things are not OK any more. When Ms. Meena Mishra of The Impish lass Publishing house came up with the anthology ‘No I am Not OK’, it stirred a desire of the writer within me to pen two stories which were inspired from real lives around me. I have seen and lived these lives with the protagonists. It is a ‘coming to terms’ anthology, where one could freely say ‘No I am not Ok.’

Shirley Verghese

Looking into the mirror at yourself needs some courage and honesty.
Most of us just look at our external appearance as we would want to appear to others. But if we stared into ourselves a little longer,  we would realise how comfortable or not we are with ourselves. For writing my stories for this anthology I slipped under the skin of my protagonists and gave a hard look at the aching heart within and how they dealt with it. It was a cathartic experience and I tried to bring out their deep reflections about themselves.

Dr. Rajesh Sagar

The book “No! I am not Okay!” edited by Meena Mishra and published by The Impish Lass Publishing House , in a way tries to provide a safe space for readers to discuss more difficult subjects . It has established a platform where people may express their emotions and experiences in order to recover together.   

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